Guest: Angeline Peterman, Dots and Dust

Episode Introduction

Creativity isn’t just about art. It’s about finding your way back to yourself.

In this episode of The Hook, I sit down with Angeline Peterman, founder of Dots and Dust, a handmade watercolor and workshop brand that helps women reconnect to their creative spirit.

We talk about rediscovering identity through disruption, the quiet healing power of art, and what happens when we stop chasing perfection and start creating for joy.

Angeline’s story moves through early motherhood, loss, faith, and self-discovery, and shows how creativity can be both a refuge and a revolution.

Creativity As Connection And Calm

Sarah: Welcome friends to “The Hook with Sarah Larson.” I’m your host, Sarah Larson, and my guest today is Angeline Peterman, owner of Dots and Dust. I can’t wait for you to hear our conversation today. Angeline, could you give us a little introduction of what it is that you do?

Angeline: I’m honored. I am Angeline Peterman. I founded and own Dots and Dust, which is a creative business. I started that in March of 2018, and we’re just really passionate about helping inspire, educate, and equip women to dive in and tap into their creative spirit and their creative gifts. We want to help women do that more regularly.

So we provide handmade watercolor paints that I make by hand and sell in the shop. We also teach, which I’m really passionate about. We have art workshops, both in-person and online, on watercolor and modern calligraphy, which is coming in March. I’m really, really excited for that. We just love being able to help women either reawaken a creative gift that maybe they abandoned when they were younger, or just to discover it, because I’m a very firm believer that everybody is creative and they are able to do it.

Sarah: Well, it’s interesting that you said that everybody is creative because a couple of years ago I probably would’ve disagreed, at least when it came to myself. But then, I took a floral arranging class.

I thought, “It’s just something to do.” I didn’t think that I had a knack for it at all, but I found it to be really fun. Then, just over the past couple of years, I have spent a little more time investigating the creative side of myself and realizing, “Oh, I actually have a lot of creativity.” I do think that everybody does. We just don’t call it creativity if it’s not what we think of as art. People may associate creativity more with creating paintings and drawings and sculpture, or something like that.

Angeline: I try to teach my students that it’s really important to just explore that journey, that it doesn’t have to be something like a Monet piece. The benefits of using that right side of your brain can help with things like memory, stress relief, and bringing calm into your life more regularly. It’s just a lot of fun, so I always just tell everybody, “Just enjoy that journey.” Don’t worry about what it looks like. I have so many pieces of paper and watercolor paper up in the studio that are just random sketches and marks, but that’s just me going in and making it a priority because it does help bring a lot more calm into this chaotic world that we live in right now. I think it’s something that anybody can benefit from.

Plus, it gets you away. As a woman, we wear so many different hats and have so much asked of us. It’s really cool to see these women come into a workshop, spending two hours away from family just to kind of focus on themselves and just to breathe. Especially with total strangers who don’t know each other, all of a sudden they’re talking about their lives and you hear them as they’re painting. It’s that connection I think we are craving right now.

Sarah: I do too. I loved it when you described to me once that it’s less about learning how to paint in watercolor than it is about that getaway and just taking time away from your responsibilities to relax.

Angeline: Right, because I think they all need it, and everybody does it differently. This is just another tool in your tool belt to help you throughout your journey through life. For some people, this may just be a one-time thing that they get to connect, and for other people, I may have opened a door to something even bigger for them. That’s what I’m hoping, because I know someone did that for me back in 2016. I just want to keep passing that on and paying it forward.

Sarah: Oh, that’s so cool. Have you always been artistic in this realm? You mentioned that somebody turned this on for you in 2016, but in what way? Was it making you see that this was a way that you could express yourself and escape, or more of really bringing out that artistic side of you? Did you already have that?

Angeline: It’s so funny. I actually have a degree in chemistry, so you wouldn’t think that I never used it. You would never think that for someone who uses so much of that left brain, that this would be something they would do.

My mother was surprised when I told her that I was going into business as an artist. They weren’t sure what that was all about. But my mom did uncover something I wrote as a kindergartner. You write these things of what I want to be when I grow up, and it said “artist” on it. She said, “You always did say you wanted to do that.” We were just like, “Oh, it’s a cute thing.”

I am not formally trained. I just picked it up. I actually took a class on modern calligraphy in 2016. I was pregnant with my youngest son and was just going crazy. I just needed something outside of home and outside of my duties that I just wanted to escape for two hours to do something. So I took it, and it really unlocked something in me. I’ve always loved the arts as a kid. Even in college, I took an art history class, and I thought, “Oh, how cool would that be?”

But I think society has this idea of what you should be doing, or you see what careers are successful and get that easy money or that big money, and you kind of sometimes push the things that bring you joy and passion aside because of that. That was my case. It wasn’t until later in life that that door opened that I could do it, and I’m very grateful and blessed that I can do it in the situation I am in now. I never formally took a class; I’m all self-taught. I enjoy it. I really love it. It’s just funny how life turns out for you, full circle.

Sarah: As a kindergartner, you wanted to be an artist, and here you are.

Angeline: It’s so silly. But I love it. I love doing it.

Growing Up Between Cultures

Sarah: Tell us a little bit about growing up. What were you like as a kid? What was your family life?

Angeline: Gosh, where do I even start? My parents are both Filipino. They came from the Philippines at a very young age here to the US and settled in California. That’s where they met; they’re junior high sweethearts, I believe. They had me at a very young age. I was born in California, but my father joined the military right out of high school to help support our family. He did the Army thing for 21 years.

People always have that question, “Where are you from?” and I’m like, “It’s kind of tricky because I grew up in many places.” I was born in California, and most of my family lives there, but that’s not where I am. I moved out of there when I was two. I always say I was born in California, grew up in the South, because many states my father was stationed in were in the South.

I did that whole thing, moved around a lot, and went to college. I was a single mom; I was very young when I had my oldest. I have three kids, but I got pregnant at 17 with my oldest son. I was very adamant that I was going to still be successful, in my eyes, as much as I could. I finished high school, went into college, and graduated with my degree in chemistry. I thought, “Okay, I’m going to be this chemist. I’m going to work for NASA,” because I knew I had to provide for my child.

Sarah: “And this is what success looks like.”

Angeline: “This is what success looks like.” Then God sent me my husband, who was military, and I was like, “Oh no. This is not what I’m doing again.” I love the moving around, but I didn’t know if that was what I wanted for my kids, and I didn’t know how they would react to that. But he was great, and we got married, and I’m still moving around.

I think that it’s a blessing because I’ve got to meet so many different people with so many points of view, and just being open to that has taught me so much. Having my son at a very young age taught me how to be resilient and how your situations don’t always have to make you fall into whatever those stereotypes might be. For me, I was like, “I’m still a hard worker. I’m still a great student. That’s not going to change me. I’m still going to go and get my degree.” I was very persistent about that, and I’ve always kind of been that way. If I have my eye set on something, it’s really hard for you to tell me otherwise.

Resilience, Family, And Redefining Success

Sarah: Going back to your pregnancy at 17, how did your parents respond to that? I have a little bit of an idea of what that family can be like and what the expectation can be like.

Angeline: It was devastating, and it was devastating for me too. Growing up in a very traditional Asian household, it’s all how it looks on the outside. You really want to do well for the family more than even yourself; you just want to do the things to make everybody proud. That’s a lot of pressure, honestly, for a kid.

When that happened, it was really hard. But I’m very grateful; my mother and my father both let me stay, and they were able to help. My mom said, “You just keep doing the things, and we’ll help you with medical and things like that.” I’m very grateful for that. I know that I had help from other people; I didn’t do anything all by myself, which I’m grateful for. But your mindset is, “I’m going to make sure that because these people are doing these things for me, nothing’s changed. I’m still the same person.”

There have been proud moments, obviously having my first one and his birth. But even after that, me just being on the stage, graduating with honors in high school. My mother still says, “I remember that a girl sitting behind me saying, ‘Wasn’t she pregnant?’” She was like, “Yeah, she was. And she still did this.”

It is hard. It really is very difficult to live up to someone else’s standards. I’ve learned that over time—it’s more important to really stick to what makes you you and just to pursue that. At the time that was me, though. I think about it, and I love chemistry. It’s probably why I like making paint too, because it’s a little bit of both sides of my brain.

Sarah: Yeah, that makes sense.

Angeline: It’s just an interesting way of how it’s kind of evolved until now. My family, they’re great, but it was rough at the beginning, and I think it wasn’t until I had to prove to not only myself, but to them, that nothing was going to change, that I still have goals and dreams, and that wasn’t going to change. I want to make sure that it’s the best example for my oldest as well.

Sarah: And how old is he?

Angeline: He’s going to be 21 at the end of this month.

Sarah: Oh my goodness. I didn’t mean to age you there. I was thinking, “Angeline got pregnant when she was five,” because you do look so young. I remember the first time you told me you had a son that old, I was just flabbergasted.

Angeline: Everybody’s like, “Well, how old did you have him?” Yes, he’s 21. Then we have our daughter who’s 13, and then our youngest, who is six. I always tell my husband, “They’re spaced out a lot, like seven years apart each. This is it. This is the end.” It’s interesting to have three kids in three different stages of life and to see how I raised the oldest is so different than what my youngest is growing up in. The kind of society and the world that he’s growing up in is completely different. So you have to pivot, just like anything else. You have to pivot.

Sarah: It’s all a learning experience.

Angeline: Yes, it is.

The Art Of Reinvention

Sarah: So did you do anything with the chemistry degree after college?

Angeline: No.

Sarah: Just checking on that. But that’s okay. You married a military man. Was that right out of college, or was there some time in between?

Angeline: No, right after college. I had just graduated, and I met Mark a month after. We got married very short—I think we had like a year of dating and then we got married. I wanted to do the whole chemistry thing, but it’s hard because with a military lifestyle, we move every two to three years, depending on what he’s doing. It was hard for me to establish a career somewhere, and I needed something.

I had no idea what to do at the time. He said, “Well, just take care of the kids and be a stay-at-home mom.” That’s wonderful, but at the time, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I was a stay-at-home mom, and I was like, “Okay, all I do is take care of the kids. Is there anything else?” Again, I always need something for myself away from everything else that everybody’s expecting of me.

So I started blogging. It’s so funny. I started blogging when we were stationed in Fort Huachuca in Arizona. I just love the idea of writing, so I did that for a little bit. I’ve bounced around with a few things, but this is definitely where I want to stay. It’s been great.

Sarah: I can see that it’s your passion. I love all your little clips showing how your paints are being made, and all of that. I think that’s so cool to show that. I hadn’t really thought about the chemistry and how that sort of combined with that. It totally makes sense that you would make your own paints.

Angeline: I’ve always been a huge nerd about why things are the way they are. Now I’m kind of diving into what the benefits of painting are, tapping into your creative side, and what that does to your brain. I find that fascinating because I think sometimes you’ve got to show people both sides. You never know what student you’re going to get.

Some people will come in, and they’re like, “Oh, I can’t,” or they were just dragged there. My friend said, “I can’t draw a stick figure,” and I said, “I just want you to enjoy it with me. Just enjoy this time that you’re not asked to do anything but this one thing for yourself.” It’s really hard because in the age of social media, we have a tendency to compare. That’s always the number one rule: you can’t compare your work.

I don’t ever want to hear, “Yours looks better than mine,” because, and what I always tell my students is, if Monet and Van Gogh were the same, how boring would that be? The styles are different for reasons, and I don’t want your work to look like mine, because it’s not going to. We’re two different people.

Sarah: That makes so much sense. I want to tie that into another side of the conversation that I kind of want to go to. Going back to that, identifying as a creative person or not identifying as a creative person, identity and identity shifts are something that I really enjoy talking about. I mentioned disruption, that’s another word I love—the concept of these things that happen in our lives that change us and how we view ourselves.

I’ve also seen where it can be the disruptions that we can create in another person’s life and how it affects them. When you had your first son and were looking at, “Okay, I’m not going to let this change the identity that I am. I am this person that I’ve built. Here’s what success looks like, and these are the steps that I’m going to take to become successful.” How did that change when you got married and Mark said, “Okay, you can be a stay-at-home mom?” I think for many women that would be, “Oh, that’s ideal. I want to stay home with my kids.” But how did that change, or what were you thinking in that process of shifting your identity from, “I’m going to do something outside the home,” to, “Now I’m going to be a stay-at-home mom?”

Angeline: At first, I felt very boxed in, which is really hard. I almost felt like I didn’t have a choice. “This is what I’m going to be doing.” But I feel like as time was going on and I had this outlet of blogging, then it felt like it was more freeing in that, “Okay, I’m still the same person. There’s a different outlet. My dreams have changed.” They continually change. My husband’s a planner; he likes to plan out years out, and I’m not that way. Maybe it’s the military kid in me; I’m like, “Why would I plan out ten years? Because I don’t know where I’m going to live in ten years.”

I feel like I’m constantly changing, and you have to be okay with that because I think some people feel like it’s all over because they’re not doing what they had initially wanted to do. Or they feel like a failure because they’re not doing what they had planned to do. You’re not a failure; you just need to pivot and change it up a little. It’s okay to do that. If it did fail, what did you learn from it? And move from that.

For me, it felt at first very conflicting. But then when I looked at it in a different way, which has kind of been always my thing—perspective—I thought, “Okay, you may not change the world with other people in this grand ideal job, but you can still change and make a difference at home.”

I’m a mom, but to show my kids that I can pivot and to show them that just because this was where I started doesn’t mean that that’s where my end result needs to be, has been a great thing for me to think about. I think sometimes as a stay-at-home mom, you feel like, “What world am I changing in this house when I’m doing dishes, laundry, never-ending laundry?” I think if you see that as a superpower—that you are actually affecting the people around you—even if you’re not doing big things outside of Williamsburg, you want to change the world, but you have to start somewhere small. Start with yourself, and then your family, and then your neighborhood.

That’s been something I’ve had to teach myself: Angeline is still Angeline. She’s still a hard worker, a big dreamer, but those dreams can shift. Now I’ve made it where I can look at my goals and really see that I can still make a huge difference because I think that’s part of my personality: I want to leave a lasting impact or a legacy on the community, my family, or the world.

Sarah: Well, there’s nothing that says you haven’t changed the world, honestly, Angeline. If you look at it in terms of the ripple effect, you start small, you start with yourself, and then you move to your family and you go out into the community. There is a ripple effect. So you are changing the world by raising your children in a certain way to be a certain type of individual and look at the world a certain way. I absolutely think there’s nothing that says that your kids won’t do something more grand. But even if it isn’t, even if we are not doing something grand, it doesn’t mean that we aren’t changing the world around us.

Angeline: I definitely agree with that because I think that even if I never see it—if I never actually live long enough to see what I’ve done in the past—that’s okay. One step at a time, one day at a time. It’s so nice to go back and look at what I’ve done in the past and see how it’s changed me up until this point and what I continue to do and what I want to do in the future.

The Challenge Of Being a Military Wife

Sarah: Fantastic. I also want to touch on one of the things that you mentioned: being a military wife and moving often. What is that like? I mean, that’s almost like an identity change every couple of years in a way. You obviously have done a good job of maintaining who Angeline is. But what does that mean?

Particularly, it’s very interesting how you said, “Well, I couldn’t really do anything with the chemistry degree because I’m moving.” I have heard that from other military spouses who say, “Well, nobody wants to hire me to do something because I am going to be moving in a couple of years. Why would they put the effort into training or bringing you in and getting you up to speed if you aren’t going to be around?”

Angeline: I think that’s why a lot of us become small business owners, because it’s hard. It is a bit of an identity shift when you go somewhere. It’s kind of funny because now I think I took that as an advantage as a kid. I thought, “I’m moving somewhere new. Nobody knows who I am. I could just reinvent myself.” That’s very much the artist in me. I even tell that to my daughter. “You’re going up, you’re going somewhere. You’re going to be the mysterious new kid.”

I always try to look at the bright side of things. I think that’s always been how I am. Some people could totally think it’s annoying, but if not, there’s so much negativity in the world, why not? But moving as much as I have, and being a wife, it was different as a kid. Now that I am an adult, a spouse, and a mother, you have to look at it a little differently.

It is disheartening sometimes. You’re like, “Okay, I have this degree, but no one will invest.” I’ve had so many wives who you would never know have their doctorate, but they just don’t use it. It’s interesting because it’s like, “What is my identity now?” because I’ve been put in this situation. You are trying to be supportive of your spouse, too. It’s not an easy job to do what they do. And you’re trying to upkeep the house and raise the kids. It’s a lot.

I think that’s why being my own business owner was so attractive because I was like, “Okay, well, I can take this wherever we go.” I have to restart and find new students and things like that, but I always find the challenge is fun. I’m like, “Okay, well that’s a new place. It’s a new challenge. Let’s do it.” So I think that that’s just, again, pivoting. You’re always constantly changing; you’re always in different stages of life. You go from being a mom of little kids to a mom of middle school or high school or college. Your identity shifts a little bit every single time. If you just take it as, “Well, I’m always changing,” then you just take on that challenge and you just go for it.

It’s not easy. But being my own business owner makes it easier. I will say, all the different state laws are not fun—having to go to a new state and figure out what their small business things are, and starting over is hard. But I think that’s where online things come in. I teach online classes, and I’m trying to push that now because I like being in person; I like that connection the most. But at the same time, because I’m a military wife, all of my friends and other people are all over the country. So it makes sense to do things online. Just have your options open, and be able to change and pivot is key.

Sarah: That is definitely key. Keeping that in mind, what advice would you give to anybody, not necessarily a military spouse, who’s moving to a new location to integrate into the new community? Or particularly if you already have a business, what are the things that you would do to get yourself out there and meet new people and make yourself known in a new community?

Angeline: There are a lot of things. Before you get to your next destination, it really helps for everybody to be on board and be excited—to build that excitement up, see what you could do in that area. But the best way as far as a business owner is, if there’s a Chamber of Commerce, that’s great networking. Find Facebook groups. That’s what’s great about social media: you can find people in all parts of the country.

Just ask, “Hey, this is what I do. Is there any way I can connect with someone else in that area?” Just being open to new opportunities. It’s very scary. People think that I’m an introvert, so normally I do not want to do that kind of thing. I don’t want to put myself out there; I’m really uncomfortable with it. But I think that’s, again, part of where the military has helped a little bit, being able to move around. It quickly makes you think, “I have to integrate fast or I’m pretty much going to perish.” You think, “I’ve got to get in there real quick and make friends real fast.”

The Strength In Asking For Help

Angeline: Also, asking people for help. I think that’s really hard sometimes as a business owner to ask for help, but that’s really important too.

Sarah: In what aspect have you found that asking for help has been difficult, but when you did it, it was a blessing?

Angeline: I’m the worst at asking for help, and I think it’s part of my upbringing too.

Sarah: Yes, because if you ask for help, going back to that life of thinking about what things look like on the outside, if you ask for help, that’s admitting that you don’t necessarily know what you’re doing, or you are weak. I know that is a common misconception. Do you have any examples of a time when you put yourself out there, asked for help, and it really changed your perspective on that?

Angeline: I think it was when I first was part of the mastermind group with other business women. We had to say the things that went well and then something that didn’t go so well, and then try to ask for help with that. I was like, “This is weird.” For me, it was really hard, and I don’t think they realized how hard it was to say my challenges. It’s gotten a lot easier now.

When I was asking for something like, “I need help finding a venue,” one of the girls came back and was like, “Hey, just do it here.” I would’ve never even thought of asking her because, again, I don’t ask for help.

Even just putting myself out there now, it’s gotten easier for me to contact venues and say, “Look, I could really see doing something here. Would you guys be interested?” That was really difficult, but it became a huge blessing. That was the place I first did my art workshop, and I love it there. Everybody loves the space.

Healing Conversations Through Creativity

Sarah: I think it’s really awesome to share that that can be a very hard thing to do, asking for help, not just in your business but in life in general. I think that this is my own interpretation, I’ve not been a military spouse, but I have two brothers that were in the Air Force, and my father was in the service way back when. I think that from talking with other women who have moved around a lot, it seems like—and this is an outsider’s perspective—military wives tend to be drawn to each other.

I’m sure that much of that is you have that very similar identity; you understand what’s going on and what the transitions are like, and some sympathy for those that are coming in new to the community. So you are more welcoming to those people to come in. I’m wondering if going outside of that circle is challenging.

Angeline: It’s funny because, yes and no. In the earlier part of my husband’s career, it was different. My father was enlisted, so we did everything on post. We were surrounded by military families all the time. My husband’s an officer; we make a little bit more money so we could live off post. That was different because it was like, “He’s in the Army, but when it comes to social things, not so much.” And he switched over to something where his job is a little different.

I really feel like a lot of the experiences of living off post and being around other people—even in this neighborhood, being around different people from different branches and not even military—some people who maybe work for the military as a contractor. I’ve always felt like we all have something in common. I’m just always looking for people who just want to have fun with life, who like a good challenge, and love a deep conversation. I’m not the kind of person who’s like, “Let’s talk about the weather.” I want to talk about everything about your childhood. I just crave a good story, and it helps me really appreciate the person on a deeper level. I think sometimes if we just talk about surface things, there’s really no connection there.

I do feel like it’s comfortable with the military, but I feel like God has prepared me for more than that. I can connect outside that. There are a lot of those experiences that being a military wife and a kid growing up in that life can help other people outside.

Another thing that I’m really passionate about is mental health. Connecting to people—that’s kind of why I love this art thing—is telling people, “This is great what you can do with this,” and especially telling mothers. Sometimes I’ll paint with my daughter, and because she’s painting and not looking directly at me, she can open up. My daughter is 13; she’s at that age where they come in, and I say, “How was school?” And she’s like, “Fine,” and goes upstairs. That’s surface. I want something deeper. “Tell me about the drama. Something that happened.”

I’ll say that at workshops, and moms will instantly connect to that because of the anxiety levels that have been through the roof for a lot of kids, and even adults too. I say, “This is a great way to help relieve stress. And if you need your kids to open up, if you’re painting together, they’re not looking directly at you, so they can open up.” My girlfriend who works with kids is like, “Yeah, I use art all the time for kids who are struggling with stuff.”

It’s just a cute little tool—another tool in your belt. You don’t know what could help somebody. I think I mentioned to you in the past my brother’s history of depression and him committing suicide at a young age. It’s very dear to my heart because I find that it’s easier now to talk about it nowadays than it was back then. That’s why I’m very much like, “Look, if this is something that can help you and your kids and help open that conversation and connect to your kids more, by all means use it.”

Sarah: That’s such a great suggestion. I never thought about that. But there is something about having your hands busy and not maybe looking directly at something. I do find that I’m able to hear a little bit better—less distraction—even though it seems counterintuitive, if I’m doing something with my hands, I can hear and listen to something and learn something better. I guess the distraction of having the creativity going on and not looking, and of course when you’re looking at somebody and seeing their responses, you have to take a little more care with what you’re saying. Your guard is down a little more if you’re doing something creative. That’s an interesting tool to share.

Angeline: It makes sense. It’s interesting to see even just the quietness of it because everything’s so chaotic and so loud. We’re just bombarded with probably too many choices. When the kids were coloring in the living room, and even my husband grabbed one, you could just see it was quiet. We were just chatting, and my daughter was opening up. My little one has some stories too, but it’s usually about some kid saying something to him. It’s just interesting what unlocks in your brain when your hands are busy and you’re just letting that flow.

In art, we call it the flow state. It’s basically a meditative thing. One minute you’re painting, and you look at the clock and it’s two hours later. You just get into that state, and it’s so relieving. It’s such a calming experience, which is fun.

Life After Suicide

Sarah: Absolutely. I’m really looking forward to getting to one of your courses because I really do think that we all need that. It’s on my list for this year to find one that works with my schedule. I also want to just touch back to your brother who had fought with depression. Do you want to share the story about that?

Angeline:My brother was younger than me. It was just the two of us. I wasn’t perfect, but that was his thought: “She’s the older sister. She gets all the good grades. She does everything they ask,” which is a lot of pressure for my brother.

He was super, super creative in the sense that he was a gifted artist; he could sketch and draw with no problem. He was also one of those people where people would just gravitate to him. I was always envious. He would just sit there and sketch, and kids just came up to him. He just had that personality. But living under what he felt was really, really harsh expectations—no one’s perfect, but you always feel like you have to be this perfect kid. It’s also hard being a military kid because your father has this role, and it was rough.

He did ask for help, which I’m grateful for, and he was seeing a therapist, but it was just too much for him. He passed away at 15, right before his 16th birthday. We talk about pivotal moments in life—my pregnancy was one, but I felt like I was still Angeline along that. When this happened, it was a complete, “Okay, I’m completely done doing what other people want me to do in my life.” That was a complete, “This burden on him was so heavy and so much. If I’m going to learn anything from this, this is what it’s going to be.”

I wish he was here, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. It’s hard because with depression, they are suffering. I always tell people you don’t know what someone’s going through unless you’ve been in that situation. So I hate to put judgment on anybody and whatever choices they make in life, unless I’ve been through that myself.

For us, to have a suicide in an Asian family is hard. It’s difficult for any family, but it was kind of like, “How do we handle the conversation?”

Sarah: It’s outing your dirty laundry. It’s letting the world see that it’s not perfect. The outer shell is not. The facade is now gone.

Angeline: Yes, and it’s very difficult. It was hard, but at the same time, our family really did grow closer because of that. We opened up conversations that were not talked about before. My father was in the military when that happened, and that kind of opened up the conversation to other military families that were nearby that had kids around his age, just to be mindful. At that time, for most of us, we weren’t thinking, “Young kids are dealing with it.” You think of adults having issues with depression, but not little ones.

Sarah: Depression, I think in that timeframe, was probably just starting to become more aware. It was more common than anybody had ever let on. The conversation about depression in general was probably sort of just opening up at that point, and it was more about adults having challenges with that and not children. I’m sure that’s really wonderful that it was able to open up those conversations.

Angeline: I definitely think it helped everybody see that this is something that we just have to take seriously. It has taught me to be a little bit more aware of that. My kids are a little annoyed by my heightened sense because anytime I get a little inkling that something’s off—and every mother has that intuition—I’m always, “You’ve got to tell me what’s going on. Something’s off.” My daughter just wants to be left alone, but I have a hard time doing that because I don’t want to have to go through it again.

The biggest pivot was, “I am no longer doing what someone else wants for me because I want to make you happy.” I needed to make myself happy and what was good for my family too. A lot of times, I think we get this guilt as women that if we take care of ourselves or we do something for ourselves, we’ve somehow let our family or kids down; we’re not fully there for them. But you can’t be there for someone else if you can’t take care of yourself first. You’ve got to take care of yourself first.

My husband always knows, “When was the last time you read your Bible, and when was the last time you’ve been painting?” Those are two and the same. I do both of those together, but he can always tell when I’m off, when my patience is short. He’s like, “Just go up there. Go to the studio. Just go up in there and get a little bit of time.” I know what he does too to get the stress out.

Rest, Creativity, And The Practice Of Self-Care

Sarah: That’s such an important message. I think that there’s a lot of talk about self-care these days. The term has almost become, when you say something over and over, it becomes this sort of, “Oh, self-care,” and you sort of get to the point where it’s like, “Oh, that’s so trendy. That doesn’t mean anything.” But it’s really interesting to revisit where that comes from and why it’s so important. Calling it self-care has become a very trendy term, but in reality, we do need to take care of ourselves. It’s like the old adage of putting on the oxygen mask first before you help someone else.

We are expected to give to other people and do for other people. That has been ingrained, particularly as women. Certainly men have their own expectations of what they are supposed to be doing with their life, but we really do have to fill our own cup first before we can share with others and support.

Angeline: I like that you mentioned that. Same thing with men too, where they have their own set of what society expects from them. I’m glad that I can cry whenever I feel like it and just let that out, because that’s an emotional stress release.

I came across a meme, and it said something about rest, and it was just like all these different forms of rest, like even painting or a good cry. These things are something we don’t think about because we incorporate rest as being lazy. If I’m taking some time off, you get guilt. You feel guilty because you’re like, “I should be doing that load of laundry. I’ve got this blog post maybe to write.” But I think what’s interesting was to see rest in different forms, because rest is different for everybody.

I like that because I think people need to see that your rest doesn’t have to look like my rest. For me, it’s going up and painting something for me, not for anybody else. I think that’s interesting too, because as an artist, we feel like we have to create something and share it. Everyone should see it. But I’ve gotten really excited about painting stuff and not sharing it, just putting it aside and not taking a picture of it and not editing that picture, not putting myself through the hamster wheel.

Sarah: I see what you’re putting out there on social media, and you’re so great at it, and I love seeing all your work, but I’m thrilled to know that you keep some things to yourself.

Angeline: I have, because when I started doing the business, I was doing something called Bible journaling, which was creating art in my Bible, or just journaling in general. I would share that all the time, and I felt like this was taking away from my experience because I was just creating for someone else. I was not doing it for myself.

When you’re journaling or you’re meditating, or in my case, I was Bible journaling, that is a very intimate time. It’s very personal, and I was like, “This doesn’t feel right that I’m sharing this, because that defeats the whole purpose of what this should really be.”

Sarah: Right. Either you are sharing something extremely personal, or you’re editing yourself, which means you’re not getting as much out of the experience probably as you could have if you weren’t thinking about, “Oh, what will someone think if they read this?” or, “I don’t want to share the most personal parts of my journaling with the world.”

Angeline: Definitely. I’ve learned that things just do better when they’re organic and they’re just more authentic and real. As a business owner, you do things because you’ve been told, “Well, you’ve got to do this many posts, or you’ve got to keep putting out content.” And I’m like, “This is just a lot.” So I just find that if I’m not feeling it, then it probably won’t happen, and that’s okay.

I’m grateful that the community of people I do have, on both social media and with our Dots and Dust customers, they come for me, and I like that. I like the fact that they’re just kind of like other little friends. We had a lady come down from Pennsylvania to one of my workshops, and she has been a follower for a while. That was the sweetest thing in the world because I was like, “I get to hug you in real life.” It was a lot of fun.

You never know how your story or what you’re doing can impact someone else. If you’re putting yourself out there as a business owner, I think the best advice I could give any business owner is make sure your story is always connected to what you’re doing, because so many people are wanting to be around the person. It’s not always the product you’re selling; it’s definitely where is the story and the heart behind everything you’re doing.

Sarah: You’re speaking right into my soul right now. That is a message that I really try to impart to my coaching clients. It doesn’t matter how many other people are out there doing what you do; you are the difference. You are the magic difference because we are not meant for everyone, but the people we are meant for need us.

Angeline: I’ve been a firm believer in that. Story has always been so much a part of what I do. Even with the paint making, all of our little paint sets have a story behind them. They’re all named after something. One of them is called “Elementary, My Dear,” and it’s like all of the different primary colors—colors you would use in kindergarten.

It’s called that because I’ve moved to so many different schools in my life, and I used to get really, really excited about new school supplies because, you know, new school, new supplies. That was kind of my thing, and I would look forward to it. So each of the sets have a name, and they have a story.

My husband is so involved—it’s a family-owned business, and he helps out a lot. It’s so funny when he’s like, “You should have a set for Halloween or something. It’s coming, and that would be great.” But I’m like, “There’s no story to go with that. There’s nothing deep that I can connect to.” For me, if I can’t connect to it, then it’s a no-go.

If you’re passionate about it, you’re passionate about the story, then it’s easy to quote-unquote “market.” It doesn’t feel like marketing; you’re just sharing it. I think that’s the biggest thing, and what I love about it.

Sarah: Thank you so much, Angeline. This has been such a great conversation. I’m just as passionate about a deep conversation as you are, so this just hits a joy in me to have these conversations. I appreciate you being so open about all of the things that you have shared with us today. Thank you so much.

Angeline: Thanks so much for having me. This has been so fun and such an honor.

Key Takeaways

• Creativity is self-connection. Every brushstroke, color, and pause becomes a doorway back to who we really are.
  
• Resilience is learned through reinvention. Life’s pivots — motherhood, loss, moving, change — can all become new canvases for purpose.
  
• Healing happens in flow. Art quiets the noise, slows the mind, and opens the heart to deeper connection and meaning.
  
• Your story is the brand. Authenticity isn’t a strategy; it’s a frequency. When your heart leads the message, marketing becomes storytelling.

About Angeline

Angeline Peterman is the founder and creative force behind Dots and Dust, a handmade watercolor and art workshop studio dedicated to helping women reconnect with their creative spirit.

A former chemist turned artist, Angeline combines science, soul, and color to create paints and experiences that inspire calm, connection, and confidence. Through her in-person and online workshops, she invites others to explore creativity not as performance, but as presence.

Connect with Angeline: dotsanddust.com | Instagram

Energetic Reflection

This episode carries the energy of gentle awakening. The kind that whispers, you’re allowed to begin again.

Through Angeline’s story, we’re reminded that creativity isn’t something we earn; it’s something we remember. Every pivot, every brushstroke, and every act of self-kindness is a return to alignment. Whether your medium is paint, words, or the art of living itself, may this conversation spark your courage to create from authenticity, not expectation.

If this conversation resonated, I invite you to join my Reiki-infused newsletter, where I share stories of creativity, energetics, and the art of becoming.